Spaceman Spiff: The Complete Tales
by xrz
Summary: More stories about everyone's favorite Spaceman. My attempt on Spiff, includes a version of Hobbes. T for violence and stuff.
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own Spaceman Spiff, Bill Watterson does I can claim credit for the alien species and partial for this version of Hobbes ._

_**Some trivia before we begin (most of this I created and well be the species and places of this world)**_

_The year is 2730_

_In the Milky Way._

_Klawdon- Imagine a race of Hobbeses, gifted pilots and gunners because of their quick reaction time. They also tend to be extremely rich. They also run the best spacer academies in the galaxy, very expensive for non Klawdon and even harder to get a scholarship, only the best get in only 6 humans all in their 50s._

_Liaclese- An eccentric human like race. Only difference is their brightly colored hair and pointed extremely sensitive ears. They recently settled the galaxy in 2693 and so they are a minority in the Milky Way._

_Dimidiæsion-Half human half Liaclese, Spiff is one of these. Usually live in the middle districts of Liaclese colonies or the slums of human cities._

_There are 3 levels of the space academy; beginner 10 years for everything, grants pilots and weapons license as well as bounty hunter membership capabilities .Intermediate issues galactic defense license. Elite issues spaceman license_

_Galactic defense is a interdimesional space militia for guarding this galaxy take 15 years of study._

_Spacemen can do any space job they want and don't need any other license 20 years of study required. _

_**AND NOW FOR…. SPACEMAN SPIFF(created by Bill Watterson)**_

Prologue- 2720, O113X Space station orbiting 5th Earth (first Liaclese-Human equal cohabitation) constabulary offices.

A young boy age six or seven obviously bored out of his mind sat listening to his third lecture by the station chief that week, and it was only Monday. "Spiff this time you've gone too far. I'm still not sure how you managed to blow up the main septic tank but it will cost 1000 dollars and three weeks to repair. What do you have to say for yourself?" Spiff leaned back in his chair smirking, as he ran a hand thru his spiky blond hair, he looked totally human apart from the bright shade of his hair and slightly pointed ears. "Oops." The chief sighed "Look Spiff I know you want into the space academy on Earth but you were average on the exam and didn't qualify." "The instructors were biased!" "You're 4 years too young." "Age is merely a number!" "But in your anger you actually proved that you are more capable then most of the older candidates." "A mere….. Wait what?" "I'm sending you to the academy for two reasons, 1: you proved more capable outside of tests than anyone else, 2: to keep you out of further trouble." But Spiff wasn't listening he was dancing on the table and screaming with joy. The chief face palmed. Spiff ran home and instantly told his parents and started packing. Little did he know that the next 10 years would hell with spots of heaven.

Two days later Spiff arrived at the docking station with all his important posetions (mostly books on the galaxy and portable game systems.) The chief approached Spiff, and squatted to his level, "Look Spiff I had other reasons for sending you, you're the only half going, also these kids don't have what it takes but I think you do. Make the rest of us proud." With that he smiled at Spiff and walked away. Spiff boarded the ship and grabbed a window seat up front as everyone else filed on, there were 24 of them total. They all started laughing when they saw Spiff and one of them called out, "What's a widdle baby doing on an academy ship". The insults continued most of the trip. When it was over 6 hours later Spiff sprinted out of the ship nearly in tears. He ran to information got his key scanned a teleport to his room and threw his suitcase onto one of the two beds and sank to the ground head in hands. Then a voice came from behind him "If your sad about being teased, I got made fun of the whole way here for not being able to afford my peoples academy, I only ask you to look before you throw." A bright green Klawdon stood above spiff clutching his head. He pulled Spiff to his feet, "My names Hobbes". The two became inseparable and each other's best and only friend.


	2. testing

_Here's Spaceman Spiff part 2_

_I have no right to C&H_

**10 years after the prologue**

Hobbes sighed; it had been a long day. It was soon to be the finals of his last year and the school had promised scholarships to the Klawdon Elite University GD level to the top three students. It was the best university in the galaxy and Hobbes had spent more time in extra classes and reviews than anything else. All he wanted now was to take a warm bath and take a huge nap that would take up Saturday and Sunday, the exams were Monday. He would have done this but his door was stuck, Hobbes rolled his eyes and pressed his ear against the door. All he could hear was sobbing, Hobbes groaned, Spiff was having trouble dealing with all the haters again, "YO, Spiff open up I don't have time for this." The door almost instantly slid open and Hobbes saw Spiff still in uniform on his bunk with his head in his hands. "Same people? Yeah those stupid Suinhb brothers, Spiff cheer up stupid brothers, Spiff cheer up studying's over and we have leave tomorrow, plus Mondays the practical and there on an opposing team. " Spiff smiled at this, finally a chance at revenge on the boys who had made his life hell for the last 10 years. They did more to Spiff since they knew he was the only humanoid who was better than them and to them he was just a stupid half breed. The practical was where two groups of roommates teamed up and competed first against challenges, then with mock battles with the others. The two heroes spent the weekend doing what else? Sleeping.

**Monday morning**

Spiff and Hobbes waved as they rose into the arena; the tests were almost like a graded sports event with people coming from all over. "_And now last but not least our youngest students and only Klawdon; Spiff and Hobbes, and their partners Xavier and Malcolm." _The elevator arrived in a Hunger Games cornucopia style area, this was a survival challenge were the planet shifted everyday with gear issued as needed. Losers were warped out. All recruits had a modified stun blaster and nothing else but some air and water. Spiff and Hobbes smiled "_START_", they pulled their blasters and took out their teammates then slowly advanced towards the stash blowing away those who attacked or took stuff if they didn't escape. They soon reached the pile grabbed elite supply belts throwing on emergency jet packs they grabbed more supplies and sped off. Spiff laughed, "THIS IS AWESOME". A laser flew by his head as they entered the forest, destroying a tree. Spiff grinned and flew sideways Hobbes the other way and then sped into the forest backs first barely missing trees. The Suinhb brothers -all four of them- were pursuing them blasting into the forest missing by inches. Spiff turned and led them deep into the forest through the alien forest full of tall blue trees and red ferns. With strange beasts moving around in the shadows, the brothers were so busy with Spiff they didn't notice Hobbes dropping in behind them. Two of them vanished in a red light as the jet packs gave out. Unfortunately the two left were the better of the brothers, and the two who bullied Spiff most. Alex and Charles, Spiff drew his vibro sword as he landed so did Hobbes and the brothers, Spiff charged yelling, "YOUR GOING BOINK JUST LIKE SCIENTFIC PROGRESS". He clashed with Alex feinting at the lag and stabbing for the chest, his opponent blocked. After a few minutes Spiff and Hobbes were backed against a cliff the brothers back to back. Hobbes nodded and the two lunged past their opponent and tagged the other in the back. Our two heroes high fived.

**Day 2**

A group of terrified boys ducked behind rocks firing as two figures approached out of the desert.

A girl crawled away one leg disabled, across a cave. She turned horrified as a figure loomed over her.

Two Martians were warped out as a green figure blasted toward them wielding twin swords.

**Day 3 **

The lake didn't save them it was electrocuted.

They forgot that tigers can swim.

"Apparently cloaking technology works underwater."

**Day 4**

Arena was a huge field of endless rolling plains. Four people stood in the middle of it. A Klawdon, a boy, and two girls stood glaring at each other. "_LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, we are down to our final contestants Spiff and Hobbes versus Rosalyn and Wormwood. Now for the final battle! _". Spiff looked at the enemy; they were a fat woman with white hair and a tall one with a blond ponytail. Spiff drew his pistol and fired several shots Rosalyn knocked them back with a vibro sword. Hobbes moved to sneak attack but Wormwood body slammed him and they fell to the ground kicking and punching. Spiff swung at Rosalyn's head, but she ducked and stabbed out catching in foot, disabling it. Spiffs continued dodging but after a minute of sparring both his legs were locked. Rosalyn was unharmed; Spiff spun his frozen legs into her knocking her over. Rosalyn got to her feet wiping off the blood from here broken nose. "You will pay for that you bastard." As Rosalyn moved to finish Spiff a yell came from behind them, Hobbes had reached his vibro and activated it through Wormwood. Rosalyn screamed and charged Hobbes, but Spiff hit her in the back with his blaster. Spiffs legs unfroze and he got to his feet next to Hobbes. "_LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!_"


End file.
